Dating in your 30 s
The truth is dating in your 30 s is very different from dating in your 20 s. But while there may be some negatives, there are tons of positives. On one hand, the playing field is narrower and you probably carry more baggage than you did the decade prior. " Dating in your 20 s can be a bit like the scattered light of a disco ball, whereas dating in your 30 s is more like a focused laser beam," says Jordan Gray, a relationship coach and bestselling author. "If you know what you're looking for, you'll waste less time on relationships that have no potential and optimize for healthy, aligned connections with that much more speed and ease." Meet the Expert.
Dating in your 30 s is generally not something people plan for. In reality, though, many people may not have found that special someone by the age of 30. Some people may have thought they found Mr. or Mrs. Right, but it didn’t work out as planned. Dating in your 30 s is not the same as dating when you’re any other age. The singles are different, the priorities are different, and the way things “go down” are quite different as well. Let’ s take a look at some of these differences, as it can help you get prepared for what’ s in store for you. Dating in Your 30 s vs. Dating In Your 20 s. Netflix and chill is no more. The lazy hookup tactics of your 20 s aren’t going to fly in your 30 s. Here’ s an uncomfortable reality. You are an adult now.
Some aspects of dating in your 30 s make the process harder—such as a shrinking candidate pool. You can no longer meet potential partners at school and probably aren't attending parties and social gatherings as often. These are hot spots for fresh encounters. Plus, your friends likely have fewer single friends to hook you up with by this time. In addition to a more narrow playing field, dating in your 30 s means you've probably endured your fair share of failed relationships. So have most other eligible singles you come across. Somebody' s bound to have baggage or be jaded by past betrayals. That means some of the innocence and fun of dating may be lost. Why dating in your 30 s is better for some people. There are many reasons dating may actually improve once you hit 30.
Dating in your 30 s takes on a different tone. Suddenly you’re not a carefree 20-something anymore, and adulting starts to take over in full force. Your lifestyle shifts to a more settled routine, and maybe you’re also a little surer of yourself, comfortable in your own skin, and know what you’re looking for. Having done your time kissing the frogs, you’ve got your eyes set on more of a prince charming than a party kingpin. As experts in the area of real relationships, EliteSingles breaks down what you want to know about being 30 and single. The telling truths: 10 reasons why dating in your 30 s is different. Dating in your 30 s brings into a play a new set of rules. Here are 10 things you wish someone had told you about making the best of being single and 30.
Dating in your 30 s feels different than dating in your 20 s. When you were a bit younger, it was easier to meet other single people your age. You could connect with people organically at events and places like school, etc. In your thirties, life has changed, priorities are different, and the dating scene may feel more complicated. Dating Can Be Daunting At Any Age. We're Here To Help — Talk With A Licensed Therapist Online.
“The best part about dating in my 30 s is getting back home before 10 p.m. and going straight to couch-sweats-TV mode,” says Whitney, 38. While this might not sound like it’ s about dating, per se, it goes back to not wanting to waste time on just anyone—because you’re comfortable being alone, so if something’ s going to disrupt your precious free time, it had better be worth it. “I now know to arrive to a date with an exit plan—like ‘I can only meet for one drink since I have dinner plans later,’” says Anny, 36. Another sums it up: “I met my current (serious) boyfriend in my 30 s and, for a variety of reasons, am nearly certain we would have never met in our 20 s.” RELATED: 9 Toxic Dating Habits You Might Have (and How to Fix Them). SHARE 54.
The biggest difference from dating in my 20 s from dating in my 30 s is how secure I feel with myself. In my 20 s, I was still unsure of what I wanted and who I was. It was a time of trying new things and exploring. So I tended to date men (let’ s be honest — boys) who I met along the way. Now at 30, I feel solid in my personality — my quirks, my flaws, and my strengths. There is a lot of internal pressure dating in your 30 s. In my 20 s, I went out with the intention of just having fun, but once I hit 30 I realized I wanted to find a responsible partner. So I usually decide pretty quickly if I see a future with the guys I date. The men I’ve dated feel the pressure too — on first dates, there isn’t much beating around the bush.
Dating in your 30 s can come with this sense of urgency to have everything "figured out" and a the-clock-is-ticking mentality that puts so much pressure on every. single. encounter. “I tell singles in their 30 s to take a deep breath and not to focus on their age,” Spira says. “Many worry they won’t be able to have children and that their shelf life will expire once they turn 39. Love doesn’t have an expiration date.
6. Leverage Dating Apps. In your 30 ’ s, it’ s time to put your dating life into high gear, if you haven’t already. If you’re familiar with my articles and website, then you know I’m a huge proponent of a technique I coined called MegaDating. MegaDating is the practice of dating as many women as you can at once, in order to raise your confidence, diffuse your energy, and really figure out what you’re looking for in a partner. As I mentioned earlier, dating in your 30 ’ s as a man becomes more competitive. While it was perfectly fine to not take it seriously in your 20’ s, your choices become slimmer as time goes on. This is why it’ s important in your 30 ’ s to not just date randomly, but have a strategy. You have to understand exactly what type of woman you’re looking for and where she is likely to be.
Dating in your 30 s can seem very challenging. Some dating experts say that as you age, your dating skills tend to wane. Many people go from being a free spirit who like to have a good time and meet new people to being a little bit more cautious about what they want in a relationship. So how do you know whether or not you should put your future dating efforts on hold for another decade or so? Dating in your 30 s isn’t rocket science. And, because technology has been continuously advancing, you can even go online and use dating apps to meet people. Dating has been made easier with the use of the internet. Whether you are dating in your 20 s or 30 s, everyone has switched to going online, especially amid this pandemic. Let Go of The Past.
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